Double Standard is Our Own Enemy

Double standard stands between a person and his goals since he has a miss judgment for any situations.  As a Muslim, I grew up knowing that ” quieting lies will make you avoid all bad thing and make you a better and a good person”; likewise, double standard; and it is worse it’s not just avoiding bad things but creating it. So, how do we reach to the judgment that someone is a double standard or a hypocrite?  What is the definition of the double standard? Double standards: a rule that is unfairly applied in different ways to different groups of people, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, and background, and hypocrisy is pretending to be what one is not or to believe what one does not, or to have a desirable or publicly approved attitude that one does not really possess.  In other definition, hypocrisy is the inconsistency between what is and what is pretended to be.  In other words, behavior or character is viewed as hypocritical when it is believed to be fake or phony.  Meaningful relationships require interacting with a “real” person, not with the person that masks the actual self. In our everyday real lives, we need to know whom we are trusting and interacting with. For example, if we believe someone genuinely works in the best interests of children, we might trust them to care for our child, whereas hypocrisy threatens our child’s wellbeing if our trust is betrayed. We might wonder how our judgment could have been so wrong and our trust so misplaced.  Worse yet, it can make us question whom we can trust in the future.  The potential victims of hypocrisy include not only us and all who had been deceived but also authentic people who will be mistrusted unfairly.

How we define the hypocrite person?   Research suggests that people interpret four types of behavior as hypocritical.

• A person who behaves differently than how they instruct others to act
• The “holier than thou” hypocrite falsely claims a desirable quality or character.
• Blaming others for one’s own fault
• Creating the impression of being or doing more than it is true to gain a more credit or praise than deserved.

Everyone has been a victim of double standards. Starting at home Parents are even guilty of having double standards for raising their children. For example, when they’re raising a daughter, she has the curfew, she’s to learn to cook and clean. She’s not to have boys in her room. Meanwhile, when they’re raising a son, the boy has no curfew, does what he wants when he wants, and his mom still cooks and cleans for him. Girls come in and out of his room as they please and parents buy him condoms telling him to “make sure you wrap it”. Don’t they know that girl is a daughter of other parents! Or their daughter is the exception. People are more critical of others when giving examples of someone who was a hypocrite and more self-affirming when recalling an example of their own hypocritical behavior or when someone had called them a hypocrite. We can make excuses for our own inconsistencies, but not for others, without knowing their inner motives, thoughts or feelings. Acknowledging our own hypocrisy can be painful, we can feel guilt and shame about our shortcomings.  But it can also be an opportunity for personal growth.  A sharp reminder of who we think we are and want to be can motivate us to return to our authentic self. Threats to the integrity of our self can inspire positive behavior So, the next time you accuse someone of being a hypocrite, scrutinize your own faithfulness to who you want to be.  If you come up a bit short, always be thankful for the opportunity to grow.

 

You should treat people the way which you would like to be treated, and be on other people shoes

 

Whether it be race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, there’s a good chance at some point in your career you’ll find someone who makes certain assumptions based on one of these characteristics that you don’t share with them. The bad news is we still need to continue this dialogue about prejudice in business and hiring practices. Remember, if you are a manager, yes, you have a tough job, and yes you have a lot on your plate. But never, ever forget to show the employees the same amount of respect that you expect in return. Respect is earned, and a manager that works on a double standard rule is quick to lose the respect of those they are over. We are all people who deserve the same levels of respect and to be treated equally. A good way to manage your emotions is to plan ahead. Before a confrontation, consider the other person’s perspective, anticipate points of disagreement, and formulate responses. And if something takes you by surprise, try to delay the confrontation until you can prepare better. Personally, as much as I like to think of myself as an unstructured, free-spirited type when there are rules, I follow them. I sweat when I have to deal with border guards and fret at the thought of being late for appointments. So, when a boss sets rules and applies them only when they work for him, I get really hot under the collar. I don’t think I’m the only one. Here’s what I tell myself when I’m bursting a blood vessel over a blatant double standard.

I have asked myself that question: Why do people have double standards?

Whenever I Learn more about life and psychology I discover that people are anything but rational. Ask any person if he believes whether he judges others fairly or not and most probably you will find him believing that he is doing it right. Now watch how the same person labels others, judged them and stereotypes them and you will discover that he was anything but fair.
Why would someone accept a behavior from a person but calls it unacceptable when another person does it? In order to know the answer to this question, you have first to understand how human beings think.

When it comes to twisting facts, most people are masters. During any sensitive political situation, you will find parties that agree with the government and parties that don’t agree. This kind of disagreement is usually healthy because it sometimes leads to a better outcome. However, if you examined the reasons that motivated most people to stick to a certain opinion you might find that the majority of them don’t have a single logical reason. People will usually decide which side they will take first then alter their perceptions to further prove to themselves that they took the right decision. This is also the same reason why people judge others incorrectly. How people twist the facts to support their sides.

Most People twist facts and alter their perception just to support their already existing sides, however; if you really discuss the same individual in his/her beliefs, you will be surprised. Fact, attractive people get better treatment than non-attractive ones just because people were taught that good looking ones are kind while bad looking ones are evil. People are anything but rational even the most educated ones. This act of twisting facts has nothing to do with education or age. No matter how educated a person is he can still fall prey to these incorrect thinking patterns.

“Don’t feel bad when someone judges you because most people are far from being rational.”

Why do people judge others based on appearance?  It is very simple, the answer, just a people were told few times not to judge a book by its cover they were told numerous times indirectly to judge others based on their outer appearance. Beliefs are formed in the subconscious mind as a result of repetition. If you were told each day that you should not judge a book by its cover then you will grow up as an adult who never judges people by appearance. People who don’t understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder. One fact, if you met a person who was really nice and interesting then most probably you will think that all of those who look like him to be interesting people. This is the reason why you might not feel comfortable as soon as you see someone who looks like someone you have had a bad experience with before. Even though you might not notice this consciously still your subconscious mind will notice the similarity and will judge the person by his appearance by assuming that this person is as arrogant.

One of the bad things about human nature to see reasons for saying one thing and doing another. Hence; dealing with double standards people must be accomplished privately, never publicly. On the public surface, everyone must be treated with dignity and respect. In private, the direct message to the offender is, “This is how I deal with you and this is how I expect you to deal with others. I don’t fly off the handle with you and I expect you to control your impulses or proclivities to be harsh as well.” Both the leader and his employees should expect a climate of professionalism and polite decorum. The manager should, in fact, insist upon it and demonstrate it. Then the manager can expect it in return. Complement them when you see improvement and continue to hold them accountable if you don’t see improvement. If you still don’t see improvement then, I would label the situation a “won’t fix” and let the offender know that if it happens again or if you get continuing negative feedback, termination will result.

This is why so many people have double standards:

• People always try to find excuses for themselves to explain why they are doing what they are doing.
• If you like someone then most probably you will ignore his small mistakes on intention.
• People lie to themselves, people twist facts to support their beliefs.
• Most people treat attractive or desirable people in a way that is different than the way they treat others with.
• The desire to be right is very powerful that it drives so many people to argue even when they know they are wrong.

 

Why don’t the people who have double standards feel guilty? The answer is; Those people don’t feel guilty because the excuses they provide to their mind are usually more than enough to prevent it from sending them emotions of guilt. In other words, people don’t just lie to themselves by developing double standards but they also believe in the lie so deeply that they don’t feel guilty.

The media taught people to judge others by appearance; The crime the media has done is that they portrayed good looking people as heroes, kind ones, and doers of good while, on the other hand, they gave the evil roles to people who are not that handsome. through the media, people have learned to associate certain qualities with certain facial features and body shapes. This is the biggest reason why do lots of people judge others by their outer appearance.

The sad reality is that double standards exist everywhere.  Every person has them, whether they realize it or not and they exist within every society and when double standard became the norm, expect a big mass, and when that happened it’s already too late … So, at least we try to avoid it.